As informed to Jacquelyne Froeber and Noelys Mendez
August 14 is National Financial Awareness Day.
I grew up within the countryside of Cuba in a standard Cuban family.
My father was the supplier for the household. He labored — so much — on the small farm we owned and he took care of all of our funds. My mom additionally labored extremely arduous ensuring we had all the things we would have liked. She took the cash my father gave her and magically tracked down meals, cleansing provides, clothes, and so forth., which was a full-time job contemplating the place we lived.
Life moved at a sluggish tempo in our small city, however after I turned 19, I fell in love and issues began transferring very quick. I went from my household residence to married life and I grew to become pregnant quickly after the marriage. Two months after I turned 20, I gave beginning to a child woman. I fell in love together with her the second I noticed her, and I knew I might do something to guard her and preserve her comfortable.
Sadly, I wasn’t comfortable in my marriage. I needed to maintain the dream of our household alive, however we weren’t proper for one another, and we separated simply two years after getting married.
I used to be devastated, however deep down, I knew it was the correct factor to do. I knew we might each be happier than we had been.
Nonetheless, it took me without warning how comfortable I might actually be. I met the love of my life about two years after the divorce. We had an instantaneous connection, and I knew he was my individual.
Damian was good-looking, considerate and type. Most significantly, he handled my daughter like his personal.
We moved naturally into our acquainted, conventional roles. He was the supplier, and we by no means talked about payments or funds earlier than or after we acquired married. However after I acquired pregnant, we began speaking about transferring to the USA. Cuba has its financial limitations, and we needed our ladies to have extra alternatives and freedom to do no matter they needed.
Osleidy and her daughter(s) and husband Damian in Cuba, 2008
In 2010, we had been capable of make our dream a actuality and we moved to Florida. Damian discovered a full-time job as an auto technician, and I stayed residence with the children.
Damian continued to care for all of the payments, the home and the automobiles. All the pieces was in his identify.
Like my mom, I did all of the buying with cash he’d give me. After I used a bank card, he paid the invoice.
Cash wasn’t tight however I by no means took it without any consideration. Damian labored so much — typically nights and weekends. I felt it was my job to assist save us cash, so discovering the perfect bargains and offers grew to become my tremendous energy. I by no means needed him to suppose I might reap the benefits of his extremely arduous work.
We had 12 wonderful years within the U.S. earlier than he was identified with liver most cancers in 2022. The information was an absolute shock. I informed the physician that it have to be a mistake. He was simply 41! “Too younger for most cancers,” I insisted. Additionally, we had plans. We had an amazing life. We had two lovely ladies and locations to go and issues to do.
However most cancers didn’t care.
The illness was relentless and merciless. For months, Damian stayed in mattress at residence, unable to work. I stepped in as his full-time nurse and stop my part-time job. There was at all times the hope that perhaps issues would flip round and he would miraculously get higher. However that didn’t occur. And with no regular revenue, we went by means of cash rapidly.
I used to be in caregiving mode so I pushed the looming monetary issues away. Then at some point, out of the blue, it hit me. Damian wasn’t going to get higher. All the pieces was on me now. My mom and my youngest daughter had been residing with us. I used to be liable for conserving a roof over our heads. How on the earth was I going to do this?
A flood of panic gripped my physique and I gasped for air. It was all an excessive amount of. “I can’t do that,” I whispered out loud. I used to be grieving. I used to be exhausted. I didn’t have the energy to push ahead. I didn’t even know the place to begin.
However I knew who to ask. My eldest daughter was 25, and though she’s married, she’s in an equal marriage the place she and her husband cut up the payments and possession of their property.
I didn’t wish to inform her that I wanted assist, however I had no selection. I needed to step up and study to do issues for myself. For our household.
Osleidy together with her mom and two daughters, 2024
With my daughter’s assist, we made a plan. The very first thing I did was get each invoice and a pocket book. I added up all of the bills to see how a lot cash was going out per 30 days. I transferred all of the payments into my identify and the bank cards. I additionally had to check out my life-style. Since my husband had a very good paying job, I needed to be sensible that after I acquired a job, I wasn’t going to usher in as a lot cash as he did (however hopefully at some point!).
After Damian handed, I took a quick time to grieve after which I began working full time at a elements meeting manufacturing facility. There have been moments after I thought I couldn’t do it. I used to be 45 coming into the workforce in a brand new profession, however I’m so happy with myself and the energy that us ladies have, of our potential to reinvent ourselves for our household after dealing with the adversities of life.
I nonetheless have arduous days the place I wrestle to even get out of my mattress, or all I can do is consider Damian and the lengthy life we thought we had left. However then I bear in mind my daughters, my mother and my energy. And I’m reminded regardless of how darkish the trail seems to us, with effort and wrestle, ladies change into extra highly effective and unbiased on daily basis.
